How Do You Get Over A Loved One's Death?

There is one thing that stands above everything I have learned about death, dying and the loss of any loved one, be it a human or an animal. You do not get over it but, you will get through it, and life goes on. I do not mean to sound cold or callous, but I think that survival is the key issue. Death is a part of living. We are on this earth for a limited period of time. The end of life as we know it does not come with a set date, so it seems we always go into a form of shock with the loss. The shock, pain and moarning are natural survival instincts that we just have to endure. Time is what takes care of all of it, and everyone has a different time frame to make the adjustment to their particular loss. 

I have lost plenty of people who I dearly loved as most people have. The ones that tormented me the most were the ones that were not necessary. My oldest brother was killed in a car accident because the driver of his vehicle was drunk.There were 6 passengers in the car, 5 of them were decapitated. Not the driver, who was the only one found to have been drinking. He came out of it with very minor injuries. He picked up 5 teenagers after they had finished playing in a high school basketball game. One of the boys was his younger brother, and one of them was my older brother. The driver spent the rest of his life drinking until it eventually killed him.

Another brother, who was my mentor in business and, my BIG BROTHER in heart sense, was shot 7 times because of love. To make a long story short, he dated someone with an x-boyfriend who was very jealous.The story goes,"if I can't have her, you can't either". There was no reason to kill my brother over such things as love, lust, jealousy or envy. He took my brother from us and I can not say that I have ever gotten over that. I finally let it go as God's will. The man who did the shooting died in jail after 15 years of incarceration.

My father was brutally beaten to death when I was 11 years old. He left my Mother with 4 children to raise, and a lot of pain to endure for it. No he did not ask to be beaten and there was never any real conclusion as to why. What I do know is that it brought about a terrific amount of hardship for my family. I spent 7 years rebelling against anything and everything imaginable and each of my siblings also traveled their own rocky road to the present. I wrote a poem when I was 20 years old that seemed to help me come to grips with his loss.

I use to cry at night, that fear when God put out the light.

The life of you he took away, I thought all gloom was here to stay.

But children do not understand, the gentleness of loving hands.

The years are gone, I count nine, were they yours or are they mine? Sometimes I wonder what would be if God could bring you back to me.

Although he took you on that day, you haven't gone so far away.

When I look, I can see you, in the flowers and the trees. The time is all he took away, the love we shared is here to stay.

The years are gone, yes, I count nine. Were they yours or are they mine?

I wrote this hub in answer to a question I found posted here on HubPages.

See other answers from other hubbers.  How do you get over a loved ones' death?